ON THE OCHE!

It's another sunny day and we should be feeling great
Looking forward to the summer, bet that you can't wait
But there on the horizon is a nasty big black cloud
The one that all sports fans fear, it's like a mourning shroud
We're out of World Cup Cricket,Andy Murray's playing s***e
We can't really rely on rugby or football to make it right
Our cyclist in the World Champs aren't performing as they should
What sport is left to make us fans, once again, feel good?
We can rely on one man, though, he plays an obscure sport
Many would say that the definition of this game falls short
But in these quite lean times when winning is thin on the ground
We have to take what we can and his performances are sound
His name? Phil 'The Power' Taylor, he's a legend in his time
He's definitely worth a mention in this little rhyme
Try watching darts on tele, you'll find that it is fun
Their skill with those three arrows will thrill most anyone
I'll always be a fan, no matter what they say
Maybe it will be recognised as a real sport, one day
Till then, I'm not ashamed to admit that I do relish
Watching podgy darts players perform a 'nine dart finish'!

ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHHHHHHHHTIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My breathing is, apparently, bad
There's CO2 in my blood, that is sad
The doctor says it's not good
Now that it's understood
I have to see a chest doctor by Gad!

I may have to have NIV
What a real pain that will be
Lying in bed
With this 'thing' on my head
Just helping me breathe, woe is me

Still, there are good points to this tale
I'll be able to inahle and exhale
Getting O2 to my brain,
Now that is a gain
I can write lots more poems without fail

Lucky you........................  and me!!! xx

THE QUIZ NIGHT... WOT FUN!!

Last night I went to a quiz night
And, surpisingly
Our team didn't have many members
As knowledgeable as me!

I have a retentive memory
There's no denying that
And my retentive memory
Consists of loads of crap

When it comes to the questions in quizes
They seem to be quite strange
So, my retentive  memory for crap
Fits well into the range

I could answer questions
Where no-one else had a clue
But we only came 5th out of ten
Which was, really, rather pooh

But I don't care, cos I know
That the man they call  'Jo Biden'
Is the American Vice President
No-one else knew - not surprising

I read that 'rag', the 'Daily Mail'
At weird articles they're the best
They,also,  provide random info
 I'm, maybe, more knowledgeable than the rest

I'm looking  forward with delight
To the very next quiz
Where I can prove to others
That at knowing 'trivia' (aka,' rubbish')  I'm a wizz!!!.............

Wot, me a 'big-head'? Surely not!!!

We've, finally, got our car back, hooray!
I am going out in it, today
To order 'The wedding dress'
Though I must confess
I'll be crossing my fingers, all the way..............

Those naughty people who adapted my car
Did the absolute worst job, by far
The compressor, it broke
It was no joke
Workmanship was crap on my 'jam-jar'

We'll be bringing them to book, don't you fret
They've not heard the last of me yet
A very stern note
Is what I wrote
To ask for my money back, you bet!

So, watch this space and you'll see
What eventually will happen to me
I will not give in
Till they admit their sin
And pay up the outstanding fee

BLOG??

'Blog' rhymes with a soft furry animal, dog
It, also, rhymes with a kiss, as in 'snog'
With hoppity-ribbidy creatures called frogs
And, also with sooty, freezing fog-like 'smog'
But, what is the real meaning of 'blog'?
Is it writing about the daily slog?
Or something banal like a trip to the bog
Who was it first coined the word, 'blog'?
No idea; but I know it means, 'weB log' !!
So there.

JUST MY LUCK!

How unlucky can you be?
My diagnosis was MND!
Still, I could be dead
From a blow to the head
So, should I be thinking,"Lucky me"?

MY 'JOLLY NAUGHTY CAR' (**!!*!*)

My car, it has broken......AGAIN!!
It may get fixed, don't know when
The Computacab man
Says he'll come when he can
But what will I do untill then????

FEELING BETTER...................

On a more positive note, a wedding IS being planned
The reception is booked, honeymoon on the sand
And in the sun, on an island, far away from it all
I'm sure that both bride and groom will have a ball!
I'm writing a poem to read on the day
Not allowed quite 'a speech', but then, hey
It's the father who makes rather a fool of himself
Wittering on about his daughter, no longer 'on the shelf'
Whilst we all sit around, in an embarrassed way
Thinking, "Thank goodness that this isn't 'my day'!
The reception is organised, venue, food and the band
I  offer advice, non physical help, a pastoral hand
Luckily, my daughters still take after their mum
Everything that needs to be done, it gets done
Only nine months to go now, bet my daughter can't wait
Though, come December, she may be in a bit of a state!
It will all work out in the end, of that I am sure
Sweetheart, keep cool, don't sweat, I implore
For me? Something to think about besides MND
A wedding for Christmas; how great that will be!

THE BLOODY, DAILY SLOG

I know I should be happy for a wedding's being planned
I really should be thankful that I'm still able to stand
I can speak and breathe and swallow, can listen and respond
I really shouldn't get upset or be a person in despond
But, somehow, things affect me, I feel somewhat depressed
My feelings of inner happiness are just a tad suppressed
I'm trying hard to perk up, to prevent friends and family
From seeing what I feel like, seeing the 'inner me'
I have tried looking forward to events yet to take place
But, however much I try it depression gathers pace
Going out is such a trial,  so many things to prepare
And I know that I will just endure a  trip in the fresh air
People try to tell me I have things to look forward to
But I bet they would not agree if they felt the way I do
My MND progression is so very hard to bear
That I prefer to be reclusive than to venture 'out there'
Where people are all bustling, living active and full lives
Whilst all us MNDers are trying hard just to survive
I struggle to be positive, to show an inner strength
To hide my negativity I go to the greatest lengths
I write witty poetry and construct helpful blogs
But to be frank this MND lark is such an awful slog
I'd love to stay all cozy in my lovely double bed
But I have to get up,get dressed  and try to face life instead
Is it just for the benfit of others we persist?
Or should I try to make my mark as a reason to exist?
Should I shout out from the rooftops, "Come on, find a cure"!
This is what we sufferers crave, of that you can be sure
Even if a new treatment were only found to halt disease
I know that  MNDers, who could, would fall down on their knees
To worship those discoverers of a life changing drug
That would help us MNDers survive, 'The Bloody, Daily Slog'!

MY NEW WHEELCHAIR

I have a new wheelchair, a go-faster job

It’s a mid wheel drive, bet it cost a few bob

It has a riser which takes it up in the air

And a tilt in space so I can sleep in the chair

The arm-rests are gel, so I’ve comfort, ah bliss

It’s the nicest of chariots, no, don’t take the piss

Little things, they can please us raspberry ripples

We can no longer have fun or get drunk on a tipple

We’ll rave over the tiniest thing we can do

Like who can still eat, talk or go alone for a pooh

So my wheelchair is the best thing to happen today

Well done, the NHS for a change, I shout, ‘hooray’!