My Catheter

I’ve just got a catheter,  a supra pubic one

It saves me getting on the loo to sit on my bum

It’s a very weird feeling, not needing to wee

But it gives back some independence to me

Before the procedure I wouldn’t go out

Afraid to need the toilet of that there’s no doubt

I’d not drink a drop for hours on end

Dehydrating myself, it drove me round the bend

Now, I sit in my chair, don’t need the loo

I only use the toilet if I need a pooh!

But the bag, it must be emptied periodically

My husband must do it as he lives with me

I’ve decided upon a name for his task

He’s the ‘Royal Piss-taker’, I just have to ask

Him to rock up, wash his hands and empty away

It’s a job he must do several times in a day

I hope that he doesn’t get bored with his role

As it’ll need to be done till I’m nout but a soul!!!